


cows & romance go hand in hand

by ImotoChan



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: HIS DAD IS BILLY RAY CYRUS, M/M, also keith is lactose intolerant, anyway keith can milk cows and lance wants ice cream, keith can milk cows yall, mutual pining?? i guess??, no angst bc these boys just need to be happy, okay i couldnt let this opportunity go, thats it thats the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9467171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImotoChan/pseuds/ImotoChan
Summary: Keith can, apparently, milk cows.Lance hopes to use this to his advantage.





	

**Author's Note:**

> lmao i cant believe i binge watched all of season 2 in one night wht am i gonna do for the rest of my life  
> anyway a lot has happened but naturally the most important thing is that keith is half southern his dad has a country accent ok im deceased is this why he lived in the desert   
> this is one of the the not greatest things ive written but i rlly wanted to write it so here ya go :')

Lance misses Earth.

 

It was a given, all the Paladins knew, even Allura and Coran could tell, because despite Lance's happy-go lucky personality, always boasting and grinning and sticking his tongue out at any teasing remarks, Lance was really just a teenage boy who missed his home.

 

So when Pidge and him find a store full of trinkets from back home, old boardgames and handhelds, books that have been worn and torn, movies with titles like "The Return of Godzilla", Lance's heart aches.

 

Pidge is excited as well, their excitement visible as they jump around, unable to contain themselves. Lance decided Pidge deserved that video game console, they were only fourteen after all, and Lance felt the need to fulfill some role as their big brother.

 

Lance is completely not expecting the storeowner to handover the leash of a full grown cow, but he's Lance after all, so he takes it without question.

 

Despite never have seeing a cow on Earth, it reminded him of home.

 

Lance is also not expecting for them to return to the castle and for having Keith turn to him, as soon as the others have left the room, a very solemn look on his face as his eyes dart to the cow in the room and back to Lance.

 

"What are you going to do with it?"

 

Lance huffs, crossing his arms and shifting closer to the cow almost protectively, "It's name is Kaltenecker and I don't know, take care of it? Do cow things? You can't have my cow."

 

Keith sighs, rolling his eyes, "I don't want your cow, Lance."

 

Lance nods, petting Kaltenecker, "Then what do you want?"

 

Keith stares at Lance blankly, and Lance thinks his cheeks are turning pink.

 

"Uh, Keith?"

 

"I know how to milk a cow." Keith blurts out, the color in his cheeks rising dramatically. Lance almost laughs, but he's far too intrigued.

 

"Wait, what? How? Cows? Are you pulling my leg?" Lance narrows his eyes, glaring at Keith accusingly.

 

Keith throws his arms in the air, groaning, "I'm just letting you know. I know you...miss Earth stuff, so, yeah."

 

The concern in Keith's voice makes Lance's heart thud suspiciously, but the blue paladin ignores it in favor of continuing to glare at Keith.

 

"Sureee, Keith..." Lance backs away, keeping hold of Kaltenecker's leash.

 

Keith rolls his eyes, "Whatever, Lance."

 

///

 

"Pssst, Hunk."

 

"Hunk."

 

"Huuuuunk."

 

"Hunk--"

 

"Lance, I am trying to makes these cookies properly,  _ please _ I love you but cookies." Hunk mutters under his breath as he mixes what looks like dark blue cookie dough mush and chocolate chips together.

 

"Keith said he can milk a cow," Lance states, grinning from where he sits. His feet are kicked out, propped up on the counter, and Hunk is certain that Lance will fall out of the chair any minute.

 

"Oh, really, interesting, that's so cool," Hunk mumbles, clearly very focused on the task at hand.

 

Lance pouts, crossing his arms and giving Hunk his best puppy-dog look.

 

Hunk, naturally, gives in.

 

"I hate when you do that," Hunk sighs, setting down his spoon to give his focus to Lance. "Okay, so your crush can milk a cow."

 

Lance is immediately flustered, his ears turning red as he waves his hands wildly, nearly tipping his chair over. "No! I didn't say that! Hunk!"

 

Hunk grins, raising an eyebrow suggestively, "Oh? Are you sure? I thought I heard you say," Hunk clears his throat before speaking again, making sure to raise his voice a few octaves, "'Oh, Hunk! Did you know Keith can milk a cow? He's so cool! I wonder if he would milk my--'"

 

"Hunk!!!" Lance groans, slamming his head on the table, "I get it. He's amazing. You know I think that! Keep it on the DL, bro, my image would be stained if anyone found out."

 

Hunk snorts, laughing, "Stained? More than it is?"

 

"I thought you were on my side," Lance feigns hurt, wiping away imaginary tears and turning away from his friend.

 

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry, you're just fun to mess with." Hunk hums apologetically, reaching over the counter to pat Lance on the back. "What did you really want to tell me about Keith and his ability to milk cows?"

 

Lance sighs, turning back around to face Hunk. "Can you ask him to milk Kaltenecker so you can make ice cream?" Lance sticks out his lower lip in a pout he knows Hunk can't say no to.

 

Hunk furrows his eyebrows, shrugging, "I guess? Won't it be weird?"

 

Lance crosses his arms again, "Please! I want ice cream."

 

Hunk hums at the thought, "Ice cream does sound good."

 

"Exactly!"

 

"Okay, I'll ask him." Hunk nods. Ice cream was never a bad thing, after all. 

 

Lance whoops, punching the air with a grin, "Thanks Hunk! You're the best."

 

Hunk nods, smiling, "I know."

 

///

 

"Anyway, can you milk Lance's cow so I can make ice cream?"

 

Keith stares at Hunk blankly, "You came all the way to the training room to ask me this?"

 

Hunk looks at Keith, his hair is tied back in a loose ponytail, droplets of sweats stick to the back of his neck. He's frowning slightly, probably due to the fact that his training session had been interrupted.

 

Hunk shrugs, glancing around the room, "I was in the area."

 

Keith snorts, "Lance said he didn't want me to." His arms are crossed defensively now, face set in a pout.

 

Hunk can't help but giggle at the sight. "Look, dude, I get it. You like Lance, it's cool, so why don't you do this for him?"

 

Keith sputters, nearly tripping over himself when he uncrosses his arms, "W-what?"

 

Hunk groans, "I don't get why you guys think you're so subtle, like, all you do is stare at him? And smile? It's cute, really, like, almost sickeningly." Hunk laughs again.

 

Keith is speechless, hands now fists at his sides, cheeks a bright red.

 

"Anyway," Hunk grins, "Milk the cow? So I can make ice cream?" Hunk pleads. "It'll make Lance happy."

 

Keith gives in at the last part. "Fine. But, not because of Lance."

 

Hunk shrugs, "Yeah, sure, I won't tell him you loooove him~"

 

"Hunk!" Keith groans, "Just, let me train!"

 

Hunk obliges, giggling as the red paladin shoos him out the door.

 

///

 

"Okay, so then you--" Keith looks up at Hunk, frowning. "Hunk? Are you listening?"

 

Hunk only grunts in response, "Cows are gross."

 

Keith sighs, "I'm trying to teach you."

 

Hunk steps away, "You know, I'll leave it to you. I'll go look for some vanilla-like substances."

 

Keith sighs again, nodding at the paladin who quickly runs as far from the cow as possible. Keith returns to the task at hand, purring compliments to the cow as he does to keep her calm.

 

"That's a good girl," Keith hums, running a hand along her fur. She moos quietly with content.

 

When he's done he carefully moves the bucket to the side. He stands slowly, petting Kaltenecker as he does.

 

"I bet Lance doesn't even know you're a girl," Keith murmurs, scratching the cow behind her ears. "What kind of name is Kaltenecker anyway?"

 

"It was my uncle's middle name, thank you very much."

 

Keith freezes when he hears Lance's voice. He turns around nervously, biting the inside of his cheek. Lance is standing at the door to the kitchen with his arms crossed, lips jutted out in a pout.

 

"She's female," Keith points out, gesturing to the bucket of milk, "Only female cows make milk."

 

Lance walks over to them, patting her on the head gently, "Kaltenecker can be whatever they want to be." As in agreement, the cow moos.

 

"Anyway," Keith mumbles, ignoring the thudding of his heart that he can feel in his ears, because who did Lance think he was, Keith didn’t think it was fair for him to be this cute. "Hunk can make you ice cream now."

 

"It's not just for me!" Lance huffs, the tips of his ears turning pink, "It's for everyone."

 

Keith takes his gloves off, one by one, and tosses them in the trash. "I can't eat ice cream."

 

"What? Why?" Lance frowns, "Ice cream's like, the second best thing to ever have been created, right after me." He grins at his own joke, patting himself on the back.

 

Keith rolls his eyes, but has to bite his lips to prevent a smile, "I'm lactose intolerant."

 

Lance stares, wide-eyed, and then makes a fist, slamming it against his palm in sudden realization, "Is that why you're like this!?"

 

Keith squints, confused, "Like what?"

 

Lance gestures wildly at Keith, "You know!" Lance continues to wave his arms, as if what he was trying to say was as clear as day.

 

"No, Lance, I don't know." Keith sighs, "Can you make this quick, I want to shower before dinner."

 

"You're such a party pooper! Because you had no childhood! No ice cream! No dairy products!" Lance exclaims. "It all makes sense now!"

 

Keith blinks slowly, tired breath slipping through his lips before he suddenly snaps, "Shut up, Lance," before stalking away, leaving Lance standing alone in the kitchen, mouth slightly ajar.

 

Lance groans, suddenly wishing he knew how to keep his mouth shut.

 

"Oh, quiznak."

 

///

 

Lance paces back and forth in his room, unable to sleep.

 

The incident with Keith was still bothering him, and Keith hadn't even show up at dinner. Shiro had told them he wasn't feeling well, but Lance knew that was a load of bull.

 

Lance groans, grabbing his bathrobe before stepping out into the chilly hallway. He takes a deep breath, walking a few feet down to Keith's room. He raises his hand, about to knock and apologize in his Lance way--lame jokes that hopefully Keith laughs at--when a hand touches his shoulder.

 

He almost screams, but his training kicks in and he quickly grabs the hand, keeping a grip on it as he turns around.

 

He blinks and slowly realizes that the hand belongs to a body, and that body was Shiro's.

 

"Hey, nice job Lance!" Shiro grins, nodding in approval at the grip Lance has on him. "But, could you please let go?"

 

Lance squeaks, quickly obliging. "Whoops, sorry, Shiro."

 

Shiro chuckles, "You're good."

 

"Soooo..." Lance mumbles, avoiding the question he can feel hanging in the air.

 

Shiro hums, a small knowing grin on his face, "Want to tell me why you're standing outside Keith's room in the middle of the night?"

 

"Uh," Lance stares at Keith's door, then directs his gaze back to Shiro, "Not really?"

 

Shiro shrugs, nodding, "Okay."

 

"You're not going to try to like...get it out if me?" Lance questions, eyebrows furrowed.

 

"I'm not Pidge," Shiro chuckles at his own joke. He clears his throat, "But, in all seriousness, if something is going on, please let me know. We can only form Voltron when we work together."

 

Lance groans, running a hand through his hair and immediately regretting it as he remembers he had put in coconut-like oil in it that night. "Right."

 

"If something is going on with Keith, try talking to him." Shiro grins, and Lance feels his cheeks growing warm.

 

"But! He's so! Ugh! You know?" Lance grumbles, crossing his arms angrily.

 

"Yes, I know." Shiro laughs, patting Lance on the shoulder. "You'll figure it out."

 

Lance sighs, "Maybe."

 

"Go back to bed, alright? Give him a night to rest."

 

"Alright,  _ dad _ ."

 

Just as Lance heads back to his room, he suddenly realizes something.

 

"Wait, Shiro, isn't your room that way?" Lance points in the direction opposite of where Shiro is headed.

 

Shiro smiles sheepishly, raising a finger to his lips quietly, "Goodnight, Lance."

 

Lance stares as Shiro tiptoes away. He shrugs, shuffling back to his own room.

 

He supposes that was a question for another say.

 

///

 

After another meal with no Keith, Lance decides he has to talk to the red paladin as soon as he can. He would never say it, but he missed his ~~friend's~~ rival’s presence.

 

When Lance jumps up from the table and announces he's going to his room, no one has to question where he's really headed.

 

"The ice cream will be ready when you're back." Hunk smiles, and Lance fights the urge to punch his best friend.

 

Lance makes his way to Keith's room, only one down from his, and takes a deep breath before knocking on the door.

 

He's surprised by how quickly Keith answers it.

 

He's also surprised to see the dark circles under Keith's eyes.

 

"Uh, hi?"

 

Keith stares for a moment before sighing, "You're not Shiro."

 

Lance huffs, "I might not be Shiro, but I'm still a Paladin of Voltron."

 

Keith, to Lance's shock, cracks a smile.

 

"Can I come in?"

 

Keith nods, opening the door a little wider.

 

Lance steps in slowly, looking around the room in wonder. It was identical to his, except the walls are a faint red instead of blue.

 

"So," Keith begins, snapping Lance back to down to reality.

 

Lance swallows nervously and turns to face Keith. He fiddles with his fingers, locking them behind his back.

 

_ C'mon, McClain, you practiced this. _

 

"I'm sorry for making fun of you I didn't know you would care since I always make fun of you and your stupid hair but I must have like hit a sensitive spot or something I don't know but anyway I'm sorry for being an insensitive jerk and I'll try to not do it again but no promises." Lance says it all in one breath. He bites his lip nervously, looking up from the ground to see Keith.

 

"Wow," Is all Keith says, although he looks like he's about to burst out laughing.

 

"Hey! That took a lot of guts!" Lance groans, hiding his face in his hands, peeking through his fingers to look at Keith.

 

Keith smiles, almost softly, and Lance yells at his heart to calm down.

 

"It's fine," Keith finally says, "Really."

 

Lance frowns, "Then why haven't you been coming to meals?"

 

Keith sighs, running a hand through his hair. Lance tells himself that the mullet is disgusting and that he doesn't want to run his own fingers through it.

 

"Okay, I was upset." Keith groaned, "But not because of you. I just..." Keith's hands tighten into fists, "When you said stuff about my childhood, it brought up bad memories."

 

"Oh," Lance doesn't realize he's stepping closer to Keith until he's less than a foot away from Keith's gaze.

 

"I don't remember much but," Keith sighs, staring at the floor, biting his lip anxiously ,"I never knew my mom, and my father died when I was eleven. My dad's the one who taught me how to milk a cow, and I just, I don't know, overreacted I guess."

 

Lance bites the inside of his cheek, frowning, "I'm sorry, Keith."

 

Keith shakes his head, "You didn't know. It's fine."

 

"It's not fine!" Lance groans, mentally slapping himself, "Please, just, tell me when I say something stupid, okay?"

 

"So, like, all the time?" Keith laughs at Lance's hurt expression.

 

"C'mon Keith, I thought we were bonding." Lance sighs, feigning distress, although the smile spreading across his face says otherwise.

 

"Guess you thought wrong," Keith shrugs, smirking.

 

Lance doesn't realize he's reaching for Keith's hand until it's in his, and suddenly he's aware of the fact that they are holding hand in the middle of Keith's room, their noses inches apart. He briefly thinks about how violet Keith’s eyes were, and wasn’t that strange, who is the universe has purple eyes? And were those flecks of gold--

 

"A-anyway!!" Lance exclaims, quickly letting go of Keith's hand and taking several steps backwards. "You should eat."

 

Keith looks unamused, but nods, "I'm starving."

 

Lance snorts, "That's what happens when you're an emo teenager who locks themselves away after an argument."

 

"I was upset!" Keith insists, following Lance out of his room.

 

"Emo teenager~" Lance teases, "Bet you listen to like..My Chemical Romance and Green Day."

 

"Shut up! MCR is not emo!"

 

Their knuckles graze each other's as they return to the dining room, bickering the entire length of the hallway. 

 

Keith finds comfort in the warmth Lance's hand radiates. 

 

///

 

The ice cream Hunk makes taste just like the ice cream on Earth, cold and sweet.

 

Lance wonders if Keith can taste it when they kiss.

  
(He does.)

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me @ [starbunpng.tumblr.com](http://starbunpng.tumblr.com/) :) i love talking to yall <3


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